After I posted my promise to write miscellaneously and not have a one track mind, I had an aha! moment. I realized that even the first, almighty, breakthrough of a miscellaneous post was a sham.
It was my procrastinating perfectionist self speaking, trying to fool you all. That wasn’t a real post, it was a mask because I really didn’t know what to write about or how to go about it. I tend to try and hide this part of myself and only allow people to see the perfectionist side of this double-edged sword, but that’s not necessarily the way to go. I am still learning this and have “struggled” with it for many years.
What is a procrastinating perfectionist you ask? Well, I am sure you all know the definition of those two words separately. A procrastinator waits until the last possible second to complete something. A perfectionist is focused on every small detail until they believe the final product is simply perfect. Put those two together and you get me! As I mentioned I have struggled through this combination for years and have learnt how to overcome it (most of the time) but it is not an easy task.
Throughout my time in school when we had advanced warning that a project was due in a month, I was the kid staying up until 3:00am the night before to start and finish mine. Of course, I would always pass with a great mark thanks to the perfectionist side of me, but this was not an easy way to achieve those marks. I would always tell myself I would start the next project as soon as I was told about it, but as usual something else was always more interesting than the project until I was forced, once again to complete it the night before it was due. Alas, I survived school using this method.
Going into the “real” world and beginning my career, there were many projects or tasks that didn’t interest me. It didn’t take me long to realize, whether I liked it or not, there was no teacher to give me a grace period for submitting or marking me just on my efforts alone. There was a boss that was waiting for the work they paid me to do. How was I ever going to survive in this environment? Don’t get me wrong, I work and I work hard. But when it comes to those tedious and uninteresting tasks, my procrastinating self comes out. It took some time, pressure and stress to learn how to cope with this “habit” but by no means have I perfected it. The hardest thing for a procrastinator is to start something. We think about it all the time and know we have to start somewhere, but there is something that keeps us from doing so until we run out of time. Over the years I have taught myself that getting the task out of the way opened up time for other things I enjoyed doing more, it lessened the feeling of pressure and stress of the unfinished task hanging above my head.
There are still days where I can’t seem to beat the beast of procrastination (i.e. my post yesterday) but I role with it and try harder everyday. I think there is a natural procrastinator inside all of us; who wants to take care of that pile of laundry when their favourite show is on t.v.!? Just remember that you could truly relax and enjoy your favourite show more if that pesky pile of dirty clothes wasn’t staring you in the face. Push pause on your PVR, shove the clothes in the washer, dump some soap in and push start. Then sit back, enjoy your show and take pride in beating the beast!
I’ve concentrated a lot on the procrastinator in me and not the perfectionist. I think it is fairly self-explanatory and in my case helps my procrastinating self survive, but either way I’ll save that beast for another rainy day 😉
Lady Champagne xo